Books For Blasphemers: The Torah (Part 2)

Ok, so I finished it in two days. The second half wasn't much better. Turns out the good stories all happen in the first book and a half. So that's three and a half books of heavy repetition. Anyway, to continue with our religious education:

NUMBERS

Some spies go to scope Canaan land
No surprise it's got giants and sand
Balaam slaps his ass
Moses strikes the rock hard
And's forbidden to enter as planned

Then there's plenty more rules by the dozen
Shihon, Og and Midian get a drubbin'
We commit genocide
But give women some rights
Though we then sell them off to their cousins

DEUTERONOMY

Gathered round him one last time
Moses says to his people goodbye
Spends the whole book recapping
For those who were napping
Then goes up to the mountain to die

Well folks, that's The Torah for you in eight easy-to-digest limericks. Theoretically I should do the rest of the Tanach (Prophets and Writings/Books of Truth) for the sake of completion, but I'm itchin' to read the sequel. Next up, The New Testament... "There once was a young Galilean..." (Or something like that). See you in a couple of days.